Live for / Die for
Interestingly I have insomnia last night.
Things like that tend to happen. I don't know how. I check my diet is all normal, I even walked for 3 miles. Maybe I could use more intense work out to put myself to sleep.
I dragged myself forcefully from bed around 730 am. I definitely can't run, eye closed try walking at a faster speed and finished up the work out. It is apparent that I am having a hard time to boosts up my heart rate. When I am at a bad state to work out this is what will happen.
I realised we tend to overlook things and people very frequently. Our brain learn to multi tasking and leave many things in the background. As long as it feels we are in a familiar realm it will keeps most things happening around us simply as background so not to bother us with those matters, in the same time conserving our energy for possible crisis that could happen around the corner.
I tend to overlook things a lot. Until I see the differentiation of things then only it draw my attention toward so many other interesting things in my life.
There are this saying that if you could find something you are willing to die for in life, you found something worth living for.
You might need to die first in order to learn the way to live.
I always have this thought that I am not afraid of death. It is faster than falling asleep. Only the pain, torture scares me.
Now I might have grown this slightly new perspective of, I am still not afraid of death but I would think life is worth living for. I like interacting with interesting people. I am learning to engage in meaningful, 2 sided and inspiring conversation.
I have things to offer to this world.
I need to be brave and I am worth loving. When I get brave, I love myself, I can that more confrontation from people against me, I can hold it, I can fight it.
One day my courage could enlighten some body life and change them entirely.
P/s: I should be glad that I have some loyal friends out there, who doesn't get my situation entirely and all the time. Nevertheless support me and love me for who I am. Things aren't perfect everywhere but it is all inter connected and good enough for me to feel grateful about it.