My next life

Shouldn't have spend my night time watching #Shannon & Cammie videos. They were really happy together backed then. Then to watch their break up video again, they said it was mutual, and they need to grow as an individual, separately.

Logically it is other people's life choices, and outsider should do nothing more than being supportive. I like the idea of them saying, Please don't choose side.

It makes me question about stuffs. In Buddha's perspective, 缘起缘灭,it means everything have a seasons. Like naturally winter will comes and goes. The reason people suffer are because they never realised that, or they chose to ignore this state of fact.

What affect this beginning of 缘and end of it will depends on the interactions we had on the uncountable past life. In each of them we have different body, identity,race,gender,living form.

I used to be religious, never been to the hostile extent. I always feel that religions as long as they are not malice, should be of equal footing.

Then of course I did changed.If you didn't do much and you pray, nothing will happen. If you tried your best and pray, you may still fail. God has better plan for you, doesn't make me feel good. I want my own plan to work, and I do not like your plan, how is that?

It comes to me that since eventually it is my efforts that count, then why should I even pray and ask things from you and waited my disappointment to arrive then hate you for it? I do not want to hate you.But I know I would.

There is another thing called luck. Maybe this is what people are praying for. The unforeseeable and unstoppable external influences that is out of our control. Maybe I am not praying for you to help me get it, instead I am praying that you don't stop me from getting it, or stop events that would block my way.

The idea of getting help would potentially link to rejection and I don't like it. I trust in myself more than others. I think that is the right thing to do.Anything that require me to depend on some body else freak me out if not annoy me to the maximum extent.

I do get that receiving help from others is a really good feeling and I should always have a kind heart to help other people in need.  Still there is too much to expect from other people. People did fail me for wanting return in doing me a favour and those form of favour amount as agenda which is gross to me.

So what is your conclusion? I don't know. YET.


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