I got messed up

Therein my post should be shorter and more directed. Not that I love it that way.

I am too way behind my study progress. I know I will never finish my study target everyday but can't possibly be so far.

I need to cut off other time to push my studies. Though writing my blog is such a enjoyable thing to do.

I had weird dreams again.
Scenario 1:
My mum won money gambling in Genting and got issued a cheque. I went to bank in and got so many RM 5 then I came back from High School-so another nightmare.

I lost the money and I look everywhere thinking my mum would kill me.

Scenario 2:
I ran away from my home again and my mum is such unreasonable. Then get to this place which lovely people are there to try to help people like me.

We talked and this lady was friendly then she said many people especially boys come here can't stop crying are gay. I asked of their sexuality then they would confess.

I feel like to tell her of myself too then she said I still think it is so wrong to be gay though. And I feel bad about it and do not plan to tell her about myself anymore.

I doubt if we would ever be happy at work. Working gives us money. Can the nature be fun and enjoyable? Maybe I dream too much of it being that good.

Like I feel like crap pushing studies on my life now. Other people have their struggle too and despite they're not taking the exam as hard as Clp as you.

It is easy to mess up life, study and schedule. The worst thing I can ever done to myself is keep sleeping and not study enough, that alone already made me a bad person.


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