You can be honest with me

Hi, Monday!

It is good to get out of our own comfort zone. I only found myself getting out there to find out:-

  • For sure I really didn't like it, so I get back to status quo
  • Or well, that's a good change
A shorter period of time I tend to swear more in using the term of 'fucking', that is how rude I can get. At first I find it fun, too much restraint indeed is boring. Then later I get over it, fall back to status quo. I feel like more like me not using the phrase that frequent.

Before I talked about my conflicts of career choice etc. Talked about the other weird dreams I have had last night. I am slightly afraid that those weird dreams could be the most interesting part of my life. That would be really bad.

Scenario 1:
I have a fight with my family. I have another friend staying with my family and I.She and I can communicate well but physically she isn't quite my type.She started kissing me, I wonder what first kiss would look like. End up I didn't like it. My mind was thinking how to I stop it and not making her feels bad.Luckily my parents came back home and ended that event.I lock myself in my room and think about the kiss and thought:Seriously?! Could it be I am actually not as gay as I thought it to be?

Commentary:Let's quit too much labeling. Even if I am gay I do not fall for every girls that come across my sight.

Scenario 2:
Damn, I forgot....

Is it good to follow the flow of life? 

First, is there anything else you can do? Yea, go against and fight against the flow and create something else for yourself. I definitely admire your thought!

Second,some people following the flow and end up amazing. Some great opportunity knocks and things changes. Meanwhile I sort of try to follow such flow and ends up feeling ordinary and hopeless at times.

I have no answer for this follow the flow thing.

Maybe it is because I didn't fight enough. A lot of people were doing the same things and not many of them get to become famous or end up really good result from that. Only a small portion of people get that.

Rain falls on everybody does help in removing the victim psychology but it doesn't works much on me. My honest thought will be like, in reality rain doesn't touch everybody.

To the conflicts I mentioned just now, I WANTED TO BE RICH. Of course, who doesn't?

I don't need to be on those Forbes 100 richest people international list kind of wealthy. I wish I have saving, and I constantly still have income. I can travel everywhere, experience new things, meet new friends and generally enjoying my life and doesn't stop working.

Then I also wish to engage in those right fighting activities. Eg. creating awareness campaign for LGBT equal rights,women rights, children rights etc. This sort of job wouldn't generate too much income as a job that's for sure.

If I stayed in UK I may not need to be so rich. My dream is to be there, live there, work there having a life there. I do not know how things will end up really. When I asked myself the question of where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

When I think of it, I don't know. Logically if I passed this exam, I should be a junior lawyer by then. And I just do not feel happy looking at that picture.

I will not be a ' mean' enough person to be group as Slytherin. Actually that's not true because not all Slytherin has to be so mean.

The real quality of Slytherin is the authenticity and truthfulness. Well it doesn't mean Slytherin tells everyone everything. They are very true to their desires and ambitious nature.

We shouldn't be ashamed of our bad thoughts, they happened. They will always be reasons why these thoughts exists. It certainly speaks something to us about who we are and what we want. It doesn't make you a bad person.

And if I do not listen to ourselves, nobody quite will care about that. What you feel matters.

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