Greatness of the adulthood

I don't know the theme of this post when I am writing it. It will be mixes of things, of me.

Few days from before, I have made some of my decisions. It often took me awhile to make decisions, even just on the same design and different colour item. I do not want to make stupid decisions that I will regret about them.

First, I decided I do not want to take the Aeon legal officer job offer. I didn't quite want it in the first place. It may sounds retarded to go apply for a job, attended the interview and commented : I do not want it in the first place.Yes, it is.

But then I guess we should always forgive ourselves. Especially when we do know what happen beneath our tiny heart.

I thought finishing my exams would mean freedom, both physical and mentally. Then it turns out not the whole truth.

I have been train from a infant to read between lines of people speeches then it annoys me until now.

When are you going to get a job?
Wow, still studying har.
What is your plan after your exams?......
It goes on and on, of course.

I wanted to wait until my result out and if I pass, I go to a law firm I like and chamber. Otherwise I get a job and consider the option to retake the exams.

So, no more job application and interview.

Secondly,I decided not to go to Sri Lanka trip.

My brother invited me there, since he works there. He will sponsor the plane ticket etc. The plan is I stay in his hostel( an apartment unit full of manhood).

I didn't want to go very much (in the first place). Shoot me , but you won't get me.

I just thought, this is worth consider. Thus I research on the places, calculated the cost and all necessary preparation. Eventually I decided not to go and tell him the invitation is utmost appreciated.

I am always afraid that my unwillingness is due to own cowardly weakness, so every time I have to reconsider is this the time you just push yourself out of the comfort zone?

I almost couldn't find a reason not to go. When you work you don't really take leave that easily, maybe I am a workaholic myself.

Then the study loan comes in. I delayed it for a year after my degree to take the CLP.

Now I have first payment of RM 5k to make before I can start paying my monthly minimum repayment sum.

It is well known that Malaysian doesn't feel obliged to replay their study loan, until now they couldn't be blacklist by the central bank and bar from leaving the country.

After all the calculation, consideration, discussion and everything else, if nothing goes wrong I plan to get a loan from my mum to pay off the PTPTN and repay my mum on monthly basis.
How much debts you need me to.....? WHAT!

It shall be done on mid of September.

How is my life going on? Fine I would say. There are those complicated stuff that I am get lazier to talk about. More like I will go with it and reluctantly giving response: Yeah, that's life.

It is as if they no longer deserve the limited lifetime to bother with it. Struggles are still there, only that I have chose to overlook.

And since I would be so broke after this. Shouldn't be surprise all those movies and drama are window-dressing the pain in real life.

Graduation possibly mean:
1.Unemployment
2.Study loan
3.Financial responsibilities
4.More loans
5.Your boss pay you salary for your time + freedoms

On the positive side, you can vote (but can't overturn a corrupted government).

2. You can drink alcohol drinks(but I didn't like any of their tastes).
3. You can be independent(financially there are debts and physically can't afford rental so stay with parents. Mentally you do not understand what the hell is going on int his crazy world.) What you do-smile and pretend this is just within your own control.
4.Go to any place you want!( Again, broke and I am such a classic introvert I hate crowded places and peace is priceless) Rainy days and a cool drink + a loyal puppies, my kind of heaven.
5.You can go into casino ( A crazy place where people smoke, scream and believe by rubbing the surface of their poker cards they get the numbers they wished for.) I would say, a brunch of morons.
6. You can get marry without your parents' permission!( Same sex marriage isn't a thing here and by the way I started to love my single life way too much.)

Anything else you can think of about adulthood which is so awesome? Don't worry, it is gonna be fun.

I mean, whatever.                                                                                                           𝕬𝖂.𝕷
                                                                                                                                

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