Last day of 2017

One thing I do for ending of 2017, I turned its setting into private with selected readers.

Yesterday outing is sort of tiring. Perhaps I am over sensitive and I am so much introverted. My energy level is just low. I try to push it up and feel bad about it.

You can stay the way that you're. You do not have to worry about all the changes that apply on you. Past or present, it just happens. Not everything have got some ulterior meaning behind.

Life is usually hard on everyone.  You have a chance, it is not going to be easy but you got this chance and do not lose it.

I feel like I always needed a purpose. I can't hang around be relax and do nothing. I like to be productive and do things. When I am not doing anything, except if I sleep, I do not feel too good about it.

I can watch a movie, listen to music or just anything that is mostly private. Sitting there and just breathe and keep breathing is not my thing. Busy is not bad in that sense.

I want to stop believing in life purpose but I can't. If you do not have one or given one, then you certainly have to create one. I used to want to made my writing something, that could give people hope in times they needed it the most. Then along the way I lost it, there is when I lost my purpose.

Passing clp, get a bank job, fighting for things society may see as glory and great. I just do not feel happy about it. I am glad I did it, it is small victory I should celebrate for myself. I am just not sure if this what I am going to keep focusing on.

Once I pass my clp all I can think about isn't some big celebration. I think about what next? A course or something?

Working might give me a different sense of purpose. Other than that I think I should pick up my Spanish language learning seriously. 

When I am ready I should try take the test. Good luck my friend.


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