All is fine

Hi, I am back.

HAPPY SUNDAY? Well, creepy Monday is coming.

I have to give myself all the supports I can give to myself.

I am going stop putting efforts in OkCupid.  My principle is actually to let it happens. Then I feel bad for waiting and eventually nothing happens. It makes me feel like I am wasting my time.

I never believe that anyone else will and could fight on your behalf for your life or things you want in life. I am being raise that way. Not entirely bad thing. I mean you are your own person.

Relationship is mutual and lots of hard work. It is not an immediate cure for your problems. I know you do believe that you do not need a relationship to be happy. I get that you think overall you are a great person and you deserve so much more, including  a meaningful relationship.

I understand that you like to make a good impact on someone life, someone whom you care deeply. I figured you have this fear that you would stay alone forever. Sometimes you find it peaceful that way. Other times you find it sad and hypocritical.

I get that you feel the arm of bad luck always find a way to grab you. On the contrary good luck always missed you and things that could gone wrong basically always gone wrong for you. You want yourself to prepare for the worst and emotional ready for all that. You want to fight hard so you will be able to forgive yourself at the end of the day you have done all that is in your power to mitigate the situations.

You have to understand that people made mistakes. You have to recognize that people screw up their life uncountable times. If you have no problem forgiving all these people, you should not judge yourself and be so harsh on self judgement. The world is already hard on you, you don't have to be.

It is okay, all is fine. You don't have to like some people, and some people can hate you.

As for work, mistakes are really inevitable. If people reaction made you feel bad, do not ever take it personally. I hope you get to chamber in a firm you like. It will happens sooner or later.

It is okay.

You do not need validation from people. Do not ask from them.  Your self value is not from them.

You do not need to feel accepted by people. You have been lonely for some time until now, you know it is the safest way. You are special and precious, embrace it. Do not let others ruin it.

Maybe not all life has a purpose so specific that it amazes your deeply. You just do what makes you happy. If it means dumb and stupid in the world, it should still makes you happy because you like it.

Do not do what is good in people eyes, do it for yourself. You have all your love from me.


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